I N T H E N I G H T K I T C H E N 11.23.2002
Over time 7 a.m. Saturday morning. Inky black outside. I didn't do much sleeping over the course of the night. I did too much tossing and turning about my portfolio. It's the third night I've done that since I started. Clearly, the portfolio is something that cannot be soothed by the sleeping mind. I've sent out the recommendation forms to my people. I have four in my corner, two professors from back in my undergrad days and two former coworkers. It was neat to hear back from the professors as I was worried that they would not remember me. One of them is my old comp lit professor. He was a young guy working on his PhD and, as it turns out, writing a dissertation on White Noise by DeLillo. No wonder he had us talking about DeLillo constantly. I only took two classes from the guy which is a shame. I would have liked to take more like ten classes from him. The way he taught and his enthusiasm really changed me at an age when I thought I was unchangeable (ah, to be twenty). In any case, for better or for worse, without much ado, like a pie in the sky... that part of my applications is done or, at least, out of my hands. Now, I need to take the GRE for the second time -- receiving a top-notch score -- finish my portfolio and my essays and the actual applications and then wait for my future to wing back to me in a small or large envelope. Yeah. I don't know why I'm worrying.... + + + So, I meant to write about the last two years. If you recall, I was somewhat shocked to hear myself tell someone that I had been without a job or, rather, freelancing for two years. That is the longest period of time I have ever "held" a "job." I had this idea of what I was going to write but I've sort of forgotten it. I think I wanted to talk about accomplishments and failures. I wanted to figure out what this two years meant and if I was really equipped to go forward into a new direction and if I had spent the time wisely. But, the truth is, I'm already frazzled about other things and a look back at this time is just not a good idea. All I know is that this two years started with strippers and if I make it into college, I plan to end it with strippers. Who's with me? 
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