#1: An Asian man with hair that looks like it was cut with a hatchet. He keeps fingering the millimeter's-length mustache he's growing. He's reading Yoga magazine. Yoga magazine!?

    #2: Monks? Nuns? Tibetans? They have golden-colored robes (burnt sienna) and shaved heads. They are women and accompanied by several well-dressed and coiffed teens. A couple of adults. Some sort of family? Bringing the monks home for dinner that first time can be really stressful.

    #3: A dorky pilot with a mop of dorky, brown hair. He looks like he might talk too loudly.

    6 p.m.

    Plane is delayed. I'm bored and hungry. I bought some Doritos™. They must have a speacial rip-off package that they send to airports. Oh well. You get ripped off everywhere these days.

    At this airport they have special water fountains. When you push the button a synthesis of a babbling brook pours out of a speaker mounted underneath. I'm not sure exactly what this is for but the novelty wears off after awhile.

    You can see every kind of person in the aiport. Lots of meek, flavorless men -- serial killers, I'm sure. Ack! I'm surrounded by serial killers.

    #4: There goes a fat, white broad covered from head to toe in a fluorescent shade of lime. I wonder if she bought the whole outfit in one place. Even her shoes match.

    #5: There's a teenager across from me. He looks pensive and has the cover of his paperback folded over. He's only read about four pages. Well, maybe a chapter. He's got a grey shirt with a picture of Curious George in a spacesuit. It reads "Curious George, the first spacemonkey." I like it.

    #6: There's a white woman with three kids. She's wearing blue culottes, a blue shirt and a blue, flowered vest. She's got brown, poodle hair and enough mascara to scare the legs off a tarantula. The oldest boy is pretty fat and has slicked his hair back. He might smell. The two younger boys might be twins and have the dumbest looking buzzcuts. Geez, woman, do you ever look at your kids' hair?! She probably did it to them!

    #7: There goes Clem, the slack-jawed yokel. Wow! He should be in movies. Yellow, muddied work boots. Giant, dirty blue-jean overalls, flannel shirt, faded Budweiser hat and a long, ratty beard. He's closely followed by a dread-locked hippie with his hand down the front of his pants. I wonder if they're together.