OF OTHER PEOPLE'S ENTRIES 
1.21.00 There have been a few journal entries written by other people which really struck me recently. I actually was suspended in rapt attention to the words and thoughts of these other people. That hasn't happened to me in awhile. Sometimes things just strike you. Here are few of those things:
From "Plaintive Wail," a journal by a guy named Stee: "One night in early high-school a bunch of us, before we had cars, were walking down the street in Berkeley. I remember I wanted to stop somewhere for some reason and everyone was just like, "naw, let’s go on." So I went. Then a couple blocks later, Jim needed to stop and make a phone call to his girlfriend. Everyone stopped and waited, interested in Jim’s every move and willing to follow because Jim was the golden boy and Jim had recently had sex for the first time and Jim was rich and Jim Jim Jim. Me, I kept walking. Five blocks later I didn’t even bother to turn around, I knew no one was following. They were probably all gathered around still, Oooooohing and making kissing noises while Jim talked to Rachel. But I didn’t go back. Even then (hell, way before then) I was aware of the group dynamic and the lure of Some and was determined to go against that. I guess I was being a rebel. Rebelling against "the system". And while I had some sense that in essence I was fighting the good fight, at the time it sure felt painful and lonesome."I haven't been a regular reader of Stee but I keep getting sent there from my other favorite writers. He's got a great wit and style. Cracks me up, he does. One of my favorite writers who linked to him is Toni who pens "Lagniappe." She wrote: "It is better to be alone than to be used. If I'm alone, then I can spend my time doing something nice for someone who doesn't expect it. If I'm alone, I will have the time to see the other people around me. If I'm alone, then there will be space and time for new friends. If I'm busy busy busy with people who don't really, genuinely care about me, then all I am is a servant in their lives, a waste of my own life and potential."Wow. I feel like I have really been there. Sometimes I still am there. I spin my wheels. I want more from my friends. Sometimes. It happens less often these days because I don't leave that space open in my life. I don't have that taker space so wide open anymore. I had a friend coming out of college that I really liked. Part of me still does really like her but I know that we can never be friends again. We essentially "broke up" when I told her I didn't like her using me anymore. I wasn't a throw away. I was important and I demanded equal time and attention. I demanded that she take my time and my friendship a priority. Not the priority but a priority. She wasn't having any of that. It got a bit brutal. I think, though, that there are times when all of us have been on one side or the other of the leader/follower fence. I know that I have friends who I could pay better attention to. I know that there are those that I could have been kinder to. In general, though, I have a really hard time turning my back on people. Life is too short to make others feel like outsiders. You don't have to pull everyone under your wing. However, it's wrong to tell others (specifically those random people that flit through your life not trying to cause harm) that they aren't good enough for your wing, your friendship.
Beth has a great rant in her "Bad Hair Days" journal in response to an article about the rate of males disappearing from college campuses. (She also has a troll in her forum on that topic which is the specific reason why I don't have a bulletin board of any sort.) Here's an excerpt: "Call me when women are proportionally represented in the House and Senate. Call me when we've had 200 years of women in the White House and it looks like a man will never have the opportunity to run the country. Call me when my boyfriend has the same worries that I have when he goes to job interviews -- namely, that the interviewers are trying to figure out a legal way to determine if he's going to bail on them in six months because he wants to raise babies."Which is pretty much how I feel on the topic. Bravo to Beth for being without blinders and seeing that article for what it was — pure shite. You sure you're not a Heartless Bitch, babe?
That weird little icon up there (although, maybe I should put it down here) is for the "random photo of the day." It will pop up another window. I'm experimenting with this. The icon isn't quite right, nor is the layout of the pop-up but, for today, it will have to do. My goal is to photograph my surroundings. I used to do this regularly. I need to get in the habit again. æ |
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