I N T H E N I G H T K I T C H E N
I keep getting all pissed off at myself for not doing more. I keep haranguing myself up and down for my near-paralyzing fear of switching careers. And, I was going to write a rather long journal entry here about that fear and why it's valid and how scary it all is and how I'm so pissed at myself for not getting my crap together.
However, the bottom line is money. I had to ask myself, if I had the right amount of money at my hand to jump into school would I do it? It would have to be enough to take classes and live on it -- nothing extravagant or immodest -- just the necessities of life and to keep the creditors at bay. If I had that, would I do it? The answer is yes.
So, now I need to find a way to get that money. That is my mission.
On Friday, I will spend the day at the library researching scholarships and grants and trying to figure out if I can do this. I'm also making lists right now of jobs I could do as well as schools I can go to. I'm writing down all sorts of ridiculous stuff because part of my problem and why this seems at times hopeless is I forget some of my crazy brainstorms.
I'm also going to figure out how to rigidly structure my day. Nothing will get done if I don't give myself deadlines. Bah. This sounds so boring.
5:48 PM link
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Guess What?I have not been sick since I lost my job 14 months ago. I've had some "bleh" days and a couple headaches but I have not been laid up in bed for one day since being ejected from the work force. Isn't that strange?
10:15 AM link
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