I N T H E N I G H T K I T C H E N
AltitudeIt always takes a couple of days of adjusting when I come home. First there's my family and how they've changed since I last saw them and there's all the catching up to do on who is doing what and where and how. There's my little brother who every time I see him makes me think I've grown shorter. There's all the pets who I didn't grow up with who are ever-so-curious about who the heck I am. There's the strange placement of pots and pans and remote controls and where-the-heck-do-you-people-keep-the-toilet-paper.
Then there's just the physical nature of being in Bozeman -- the altitude. It always takes me about three or four days to get used to it. When I come here, I feel like I'm coming down with a cold and usually get a bloody nose from the dry air in the second day. This also means that I don't sleep very well.
Last night was full of tossing and turning and half-asleep dreaming. After hour on endless hour of this I was actually jolted out of my semi-slumber by the sudden presence of a bright spot of light on the ceiling, twice the size of a dinner plate. I stared at it a long time, sure that it was moving, trying to figure out where it was coming from and if it was dangerous. Finally, I figured it out.
It was the moon.
The bigger-than-a-half-moon moon blazed down from somewhere above the house and landed on a glass-topped table next to the window and reflected its light right smack above my head on the ceiling. When I realized what this was, I remembered it's shape from earlier that evening and marveled at how exactly it had transposed itself.
I started to drift off again, watching the reflected moon drift ever-so-slowly across my ceiling. I started dreaming again when BANG! I was awake.
This time, the moon seemed angry. It had dipped lower in the sky in order to shine directly on my face. It was like a floodlight. I have never seen a moon so brilliant, so forceful, so demanding. I rolled on my side and squinted out at it. It hurt my eyes but I felt that I should watch.
I drifted off again and woke just to see a sliver of it as it drifted behind the mountain ridge. The color of the sky was a wonderful dense velvet, blue and black and silvery where the moon had left it.
I awoke this morning so groggy and so tired -- no sign of the demanding moon. I hope it lets me sleep tonight.
3:21 PM link
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How to Protect Yourself From the Fierce MooseI've been doing research.
Facts:
- Male moose, called bulls, can get up to 1800 lbs.
- Female moose are called cows and can have up to three offspring, calves, per year; usually twins or tripelets.
- Female moose keep their calves close to them for the first year they are born.
- Male moose have horns which they shed every year. Female moose have no horns.
- A moose can get up to 7.5 feet tall. That is very tall.
- Moose belong to the deer family.
- Moose like candy.
- No, that's not true. Moose like plants though the commonly held belief that they enjoy the occasional brain is apparently urban legend.
- Females are very protective of their young and you should not approach a female or her calf under any circumstances.
- The female moose seems a bit high-strung.
What to do when confronted with a raging, angry, blood-thirsty moose:
- Run!
- Play dead!
- Um... I think both of those are wrong. A moose can run up to thirty miles an hour. Can you run over thirty miles an hour? I didn't think so.
- Did you not see how heavy they are? Up to 1800 lbs, people! Just think how dead you would be if a moose merely tip-toed across your back?
- Basically, you should give moose (especially cows and their calves) a wide berth. From all the reading I've done (killer moose is a serious subject), it sounds as though even looking at a baby moose the wrong way will get you knocked flat.
- A moose that ignores you and continues eating, drinking, lounging or sleeping is a happy moose.
- A good sign that a moose is about to whup up on yo ass is if they look your way, their ears go flat, they lower their head and the hairs raise up on their back.
- A moose may even (here's the clincher) move towards you while licking its lips!
- A moose is likely to defend itself by lunging, kicking and chasing.
- Mary, Mother of Jesus!
- So, if a moose is licking its lips and kicking up its heels you should actually run behind a tree or something solid. Apparently, a moose does not corner well. This is the truth.
- I copied and pasted this from somewhere, it's worth repeating verbatim: "If a moose knocks you down, it may continue running or start stomping and kicking with all four feet. Curl up in a ball, protect your head with your arms, and lie still."
Look people, you must leave the moose alone. Seriously. It's all about 200 yards and a pair of binoculors. Don't pet the moose. Don't feed the moose. Don't
look at the moose. If the moose thinks that you're looking at it just sort of nonchalantly kind of look away like you weren't even looking at it. You can just sort of look over at that Grizzly bear ....
7:17 PM link
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Day 3 of MooseWatch 2001Still no sign of moose or mooses.
*sigh*
6:48 PM link
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EmailI'm too tired to do a real entry today so here's an email that I just sent to T.:
:: Were you attacked by any ravenous moose last night?
YES!
Uh... I mean, no.
But, that doesn't mean I slept too well. The fucking cats kept making all sorts of noise. Banging against my door trying to get me to open it. I'd open it. I'd fall back asleep and then Thor would start scratching on something or meowing or jumping on things that make noise. I'd throw him out of the room. Wash, rinse, repeat.
At 4 a.m., at the final "get the fuck outta here, cat" I decided to go use the bathroom. I took two steps down the hall and the alarm went off. It was LOUD. There was this funny voice thing that says something like, "Intruder! Alert! Leave the premises immediately!! The police have been alerted!" God, it was awful. I finally got the alarm off and then called in to the security station place.
I was so asleep and confused and shocked. The guy on the line was pretty chipper. He asked me what my address was and I couldn't remember it at all.
I went back to bed and piled pillows against the door to keep it from banging if Thor came back. I was a little freaked, though. There was this part of me that kept thinking that maybe someone did try to get in, even though the reader thing on the alarm said, "Basement Hallway Motion Alert". Ugh.
There's no clock in my room and I was afraid I'd oversleep and it was overcast outside so I couldn't tell what time it was. When I finally got up it was like 9 or something and I was so tired and so groggy that I just *hurt*.
Anyway, I finally got going and picked up Lucky from the Kennel and bought some Bratwurst and some Kraut and some Moose Drool and I'm off to make myself some lunch.
It's still overcast but I think I'll take Lucky out anyway, even though I can't find her collar anywhere and I'm worried that it's at the kennel. I'm *really* going to need a nap today.
Mmmmm... brats, kraut, beer.
12:27 PM link
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26I'm 26 today. Right now I'm sitting in an empty house in Montana alone. Well, there are two cats but they are out sunning themselves on the deck. I'm dead tired and will be going to take a nap shortly.
I woke at 4 this morning to shower and finish packing before my 6 a.m. flight. T. took me to the airport and I already miss him. He has been such a rock for me these past months that it's weird being away. My parents will be here tomorrow. My grandparents picked me up at the airport and we had lunch. They really are showing their age.
I'll be here for a week. I hope to get some rest and read and visit with all the family that I have here. I love Montana in the summer almost as much as the winter. It smells so good.
2:57 PM link
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