6.25.98

    I'm so bored. Bored with having this wedding stuff lurking. Bored with our pathetic apartment. Bored at work. Bored with some of my recent online communications. Bored with parental wedding squabbles. Bored with my wardrobe. Bored with L.A. Bored with trying to find a job. Bored over my resume. Bored, bored, bored.

     This is not good. This is when depression kicks in.

     Of course, my personal life shouldn't seem that boring. The past few weeks have been crammed with after-work activities. Last night I took in another webgrrls meeting. I think I'm finding it to be not quite my thing. I still will participate in the mailing list but... it just doesn't seem to be populated with many people who are where I am at right now. I think it's great that there are people who are just now getting into the web but I want to get to know people who are struggling right now to define themselves in the web space, ya know, like with a job or something... like me.

     No luck yet but I won't give up.

     Today, I am leaving work early to go hunt down a friend of mine in Old Town Pasadena. She is from here but is now living in Seattle. Whenever we talk on the phone she says things like, "How's Los Angeles?" and I reply in some pithy manner because what am I supposed to say? And then I ask about Seattle and she replies in the same way. I tell her that we ought to switch places.

     So, we're going to meet up. This could be a traffic nightmare. Getting to Pasadena from work is easy enough. However, getting home from Pasadena somewhere around rush hour is going to suck. Everyday my fears of the freeway, highways and random streets which criss-cross Los Angeles get more pronounced. I know that if I could find a job somewhere closer to home I would be able to let this preoccupation go but until then... watch out, kids.

     Tonight, T. and I have plans to go to The Derby, get snookered and take a beginner swing dancing lesson. It's either going to be fun or it's going to be hell. You might know The Derby from such popular movies as Swingers and, uh, Swingers. Apparently, the success of the movie has called quite an amount of attention to The Derby and its hip quotient has declined. Oh well, can I help it if it's the only club listing over at the Swing Set?

     Back to the whole depression thing.

     I'm despairing over getting a job. I don't know what's wrong with me. If it's just experience that's holding me back well... what can I do? If getting a job doing something related to web design, interface design, graphic design is not in the cards for me then what's the next step?

     I recently interviewed with this company who has their fingers in every type of design pot out there. From CD packaging to architecture it appears that they are doing it all. I wasn't sure what to expect when I interviewed with them since I had been targeting more run-of-the-mill producer positions but it was way cool. I would love to work there. There would be so much for me to learn and so much for me to try. It's rare for an employer to hire someone who wants to learn or try but aren't those some of the most valuable aspects of a good employee? Yeah, I know, everybody want people who know everything already. At least, they think they do.

     *sigh*

     What's a girl with art running through her head supposed to do? Not paperwork.