4.14.98

    I have noticed a phenomenon that I can make head nor tails of. There seems to be an inordinate amount of people sporting the same sticker on their cars. It's a sticker I have never seen before and it's meaning is, frankly, lost on me. It's a bastardized drawing of Calvin, of Calvin and Hobbes, fame. Calvin is white and clear and is plastered prominently in many a back window. I know it's bastardized because this Calvin is peeing. Or, rather, he's pissing. A gentle arc landing with a splash. The first time I saw this sticker I thought, with a touch of amusement, how odd. But, by now I must've seen this sticker on at least 50 different cars -- it now seems gauche.

    The thing is that with most of these Calvin isn't just pissing into the distance. No, he's pissing on a logo -- a car logo. So, you've got some idiot tooling along in a Buick with a Calvin sticker pissing on a Chevy logo. I saw a rather nice Honda with a "pissing on Toyota" sticker.

     I don't get it. Are dealerships handing these out? Who really has a grudge against another car company? I love my car, it's the cutest thing on four wheels, but I would never put a sticker on my car reviling another maker of British autos. I can't rationalize it as some grand Michael Moore-esque statement either. Unfortunately, I can only assume these people are idiots who if handed poisoned Kool-Aid will happily drink it.

     There is one guy at my work who is sporting a "pissing on" sticker but unfortunately he only speaks Spanish and mine is not good enough to politely question his motives.

     I find most bumper/back window philosophy to be grating or merely boring. I have two stickers on the back of my car, both of which I assume my father put there. One says "USA" where it should say some other countries initials since that's how they do it over there and not over here. The other has completely faded from sun exposure and only I still know that it says "Gstaad my love" with a big red heart replacing the word love. I vaguely remember my Dad giggling over its meaning but either I've forgotten what that was or I just don't get it.

     Visualize Whirled Peas.