10.20.99

    Am I up or am I not? I still don't know. Let's just push that question aside for now.

    T. and I are pushing the limits of consumer madness. I find it unsettling.

    We just got a computer. It's nifty but doesn't have quite the number of bells and whistles that it would take to get me really excited. It is, however, extremely fast. I think I'll appreciate the speed once I get some software installed and really start cooking on the thing.

    We are talking about buying a car. T. really, really wants a new one but the fact of the matter is is that we don't really need one. We have two cars that are currently running just fine. I just don't want to take on any more debt. Frankly, buying a car right now goes against everything I've ever wanted to do in my life in regards to money.

It's as simple as that in my mind. I don't know how to explain that to T. without him getting frustrated and giving me the Big Sighs^TM. He does make some compelling arguments but it's not going to be easy to make me come around.

    Money is the great downfall of many a great relationship, isn't it? Lack of money. Too much money. Ownership of money. Appropriation, reconciliation and domination of money.

    It's all silly, anyway. Currently we don't need anything. We want things. Pure and simple. However, it's my opinion that wants can and should be controlled. Just because something is shiny and new doesn't mean that it's good or that it is in any way going to improve our lives. If it doesn't improve our lives then what is the damn point?

This issue isn't going to go away, is it?

    Went to the hair salon yesterday. Got a plucky new cut. It's much shorter than it was. I'm not sure how great it looks since I had trouble styling it the way he did. He used this tacky stuff called Bed Head which was amazingly green and gooey. When he whipped it out some Entertainment Weekly-retaining synapse fired at me: "You know, Heather Locklear uses this same miracle product and swears by it." I simultaneously recoiled in horror while feeling elevated to a higher plane of existence. I would have purchased the product just for the giddy-thud feelings but alas it was $17. Since I'm not actually Heather Locklear and no amount of miracle goo will change that, I opted out.

    And lastly, not to make you think I've made some sort of dramatic and whole-hearted return to the journal thing, I submit to you Erasing which is where I've been hiding out when possible the last week or so. Mmmmmm...Scotch is good. Drink up.