5.7.98

    I needed a few days away from the journal. The freeway suicide still shakes me up a little bit. It should. Overwhelmingly, the event was (is) remarkably sad and horrifying. The thing is that it shouldn't bother me. After all, it's just teevee. It is not like I was there. I didn't know him or his family or his dog. So, why am I so affected? Because it's real.

    It is almost more real for having occurred on teevee. Hyper-real. This incident has been recorded and replayed right up to the moment before he pulls the trigger. It has been hashed and rehashed in commentaries and on print and on the radio. Five separate networks launched five separate helicopters to capture the ratings from five separate angles. From the left, from the front, from the right, from the back. Boom and the fire erupts. Boom and the fire erupts. One more time and Boom -- the fire erupts. Even though I am sure that the moment when he pulls the trigger and ends it all was broadcast only once I have seen it many times. That day and the next and the one after that was full of instant replays.

    Now back to our regularly-scheduled programming.